These are the messages that have been subtly creeping in my head repeatedly, bouncing around aimlessly; not serving me.
Perfection does not exist, but that does not keep me from working hard to achieve it. I am, and always will be, a goal-setter, and when I don’t achieve my goals; when I fail in my own eyes, I take it very hard. There’s a part of my personalty that is both a blessing and a curse to me; I am hardworking, driven and determined, yet sometimes my hunger to succeed and achieve causes more anxiety and trouble than it’s worth.
I am my own worst enemy at times.
I think that sometimes people are surprised when I get really vulnerable via my blog. “But you’re so positive and happy all the time!” I may exude positivity, self-love, and worthiness, but I would be inhumane if I didn’t have feelings of shame and insecurity at times. I also am a REAL girl; one who struggles, falls down, and fails. I get angry, cry, pity myself, and then get over it. I struggle just like all of you, and things are not always perfect.
Lately it seems that I’m in a constant race with my life. Have you ever had that nightmare when you’re running a race and trying so hard to beat your opponent, but time is moving in slow motion? Or your feet are submerged in quicksand? I feel like I am always in a race with the clock. There is always a nagging to-do list, and sometimes 24 hours in a day just doesn’t seem enough.
I am not a failure. I love with my whole heart and have a wonderful support system of family and friends. I am student with goals. I reach thousands of people with my blog daily. I am healthy. So why do I still think that I am a failure? Because I’m not stick skinny? Because maybe I don’t have enough Instagram followers as I want? Because I don’t have my dream job yet?
I wrote this post to remind myself of something important, and to remind you all who, like me, feel the effects of “failure” when you don’t achieve everything that you hope.
We are not defined by our shortcomings.
Brené Brown says it best, “You are imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”
We like to define our worth and base our happiness off of achievements, which can be self-destructive. I am busy, not a failure. I am not defined by my limited self-constructed idealism of who I SHOULD be, rather than who I am in this MOMENT.
Now tell me, what do you feel has been your shortcoming lately? Let’s encourage, support, and love one another. Have a great week, babes!
