Hello
Dolls!! It's been eons subsequently the last time I did a blog post. It’s indeed
great to finally have the time and audacity to post another. For the past months,
I've been caught up with my school works and dealing with my fucked up life.
(but srsly its more about school works. NAH I KID)
I
finally did it you guys! I'm now an intern *sobs* I don't want to sound so
emotional about it but to my most readers you guys are aware of how much I went
through to get this far. I've transfers from school to school, jump from course
to course & ultimately, I found the precise course I want to pursue and
that's Radiology. But have confidence in me when I say, I won't be stopping
here. I will do entirety in my supremacy to be a Doctor someday, Obstetrician
or a Surgeon maybe that's what I always wanted. Moreover we're all free to
dream high and big. Baby steps munchkins, I'll get there.
This
school semester was the most perplexing and strenuous. I was at that point
wherein I wanted to give up. I even encountered lot of hitches and snags doing
the first three chapter of our thesis, but after alot of misunderstandings,
disputations & some issues settled with my co-researchers we were able to
finish it & successfully defended it. There's another 2 chapters left which
we would be doing this coming semester together with the internship, I just
hope everything go smoothly, but whatever let's just play by ears.
I
have to say but my favorite subject this semester is Radiologic Therapy &
Radiologic Pathology, this is the only subjects that I could say I learned
something, & I learned alot. likeeee way alot compared to CT, MRI and
others. Before the semester started, I was expecting that MRI & CT would be
my favorite subject but it got all fucked up when the professor only attended
the class for like 4 fucking times in a whole semester. WHAT A SHAME. But
whatever, im not holding it against him. But I'm pretty worried about my board
exam review in the future, I got very less knowledge on my major subjects, or
maybe I feel like it wasn't enough to top the board. & that makes me want
to scream because I do have GOALS!
I
was able to maintain my grades and personally I think that’s good enough. My goal was to passed with flying colors and
that’s what exactly happened. I couldn’t be more grateful and over the moon
about it. I’m about to start a new chapter of my life & I don’t know what
to feel about it, I mean don’t get me wrong I’m truly happy but I wouldn’t deny
the fact that I’m terrified. I’m scared to fucked up! I know how great I could
be in a class setting but I have no idea what will happen when I go out of the
classroom and start with the clinical setting. I’m afraid I won’t be able to
vibe with the people in the hospitals, and that they won’t like me, furthermore
I’m afraid I won’t be good enough with
my patients. But what’s left for me to do is atleast TRY. And that’s exactly
what I’m going to do.
All
of you discerns how difficult it is for me to interact with people, because
most of the time I just wanted to be left alone. Alright. That’s a lie. I don’t
want to be left alone. I mean who wants to feel LONELY?? No one! I just choose
the right people who I want to interact or bond with. I’m a very selective
person when it comes to whom I want to surround myself with. Because, I’m
avoiding dramas and phony people. So I guess, it would take some time before I
could adjust to my new environment. TBH, my only problem was LADIES. Geez, I
can’t believe I’m saying this but most girls dislikes me. Why? I have no idea.
As long as im not doing something to offend and hurt someone then I’m all good.
Besides, we can’t please everyone around us. Every now and then, there will be
someone who will throw shade on you and dislikes you for a pity reason, just
happens that I have a enormous amount of GIRL HATERS. And as for boys, my
problem is every single guy who interacts with me tends to fall inlove with me
& that’s fucked up for a woman who are in a relationship. Everyone have a
hidden agenda. Can’t I have atleast one friend who doesn’t have feelings for me
at all?! I don’t want to sound like a bitch but that’s true. Ugh! It’s so great
to be a BEAUTIFUL & SMART human being. They could either Hate you or Love
you.
I’ll try to update you guys on what
will happen on my internship, its not a promise, Aights? But I’ll try.
LOVES,
