You find people of all shapes and sizes.. all different personalities... quarks.. pet peeves.. things that set them off... tolerance levels... hair color.. eye color... and scars.
But one thing that all of us as human being have in common, is the fact that we came from something before. We all have a past us.. and a present us..things that in our personal history changed us for the better.. or worse.. into the person we are today.
Whether it be catastrophic events or simple snide comments, compliments or tiny realizations about ourselves and others. Our own timelines affect us and have molded us into us.. for better or worse.
I've been studying this very concept in those around me.. picking apart their pasts in order to get further insight into what made them the way that they are.
Things like death.. heartache.. and losing everything you have.. take quite the toll on someone's soul and set behaviors. People that go through these horrible life-changing events usually come out one way or the other.
They focus on what matters most to them in their lives... determined to become the best person they can possibly be in every area.. realizing that they in no way had a part in their fate in accordance to these events.
They blame themselves... determined to never let this kind of heart ache happen again.. closing out any possibility of happiness in fear of the unknown.. fear of failure and sadness. They close themselves off.. with good reason. But they change for the worse. silently crying for help that others around them need to recognize and provide.
Winning the lottery.. falling in love.. and having a moment where everything is right in your life.. change you in ways for better or worse as well...
For better..
People become lovely and giving.. sharing their happiness no matter the kind that they're in abundance of.
for worse..
People become greedy and selfish.. holding on to every ounce of money or love that they have at that time.. often times with the result of them later losing it.
You can look back into someone's history and see what made them how they are... drawing a road map of when they changed for the better.. and when they changed for the worse.
When doing this.. you either gain sympathy for their poor unfortunate souls... wanna kick them in the teeth.. or simply have an explanation of the hard shell or giant softy in front of you.
In the world of love and singleness.. if we each had a road map of everyone on the menu.. we could better understand the retarded world we live in.. we could gain a better perspective of why the douche-bags we date.. act the way that they do. And if it didn't help further us in our quest for love... at least it would give us a good hard laugh. and the ability to recognize the faults in one another with a grain of salt.. realizing that all of us are an ex-something and we- with a little effort - can most likely pull whoever they are out of whatever retarded slump they've fallen into. We can reveal the humanity in each other.. silently.. or publicly.. depending on how gutsy each of us are.. and hopefully reach common.. mature.. ground.. someday.
In a community full of dude-bro's and possibly the most vain people i've ever met.. it wasn't hard to come across.. not just one... but several conversations.. about nothing more than being hot.
At first it was pretty amusing.. not gonna lie.. as dude-bro after homie.. after tool box.. talked about special tanning creme made from the geckos of the nile that only they could get for the delicate condition of their skin.. that practically made them a no brainer for any lady they pursued... About hair gel that was JUST the right amount of hold that took them from jersey shore.. to Abercrombie model.. so they could look natural.. but still like they cared.
They proceeded to talk about their favorite part of a woman's body.. and the PERFECT exercise that they should do to make their butt exactly the right shape.. and how many 'chicks wanted them'.
About 30 seconds into this conversation.. i wanted to ralph.
Physical attraction is decided in the first 5 seconds of meeting someone.. it is the door into the kingdom of love. If you pass.. you get to explore.. if you don't... you go find another door. It's such a matter of personal taste and judgement that it becomes a base-line. You probably wont date someone that YOU'RE not physically attracted to.. bottom line. They don't have to be attractive to someone else.. but YOU have to like the way they look. So. being a baseline.. a door... its ridiculous how much emphasis some people put on it. P.R.E.R.E.Q.U.I.S.I.T.E.. baseline!
If you're hot... that's great. good for you... but if you really have to tell someone else how hot you are... you're gonna end up with a whole bunch of puke down your shirt.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Everyone has a past.. recognize it right here and now. as the human race.. we need to be able to laugh at each other's weaknesses and take people with a grain of salt, however, we also need to realize that we have absolutely NOTHING to prove to ANYONE but ourselves.. we don't need to shove ourselves down people's throats for them to realize how great we are.. people are more perceptive that we give them credit for. We don't need to judge people on how they were or looked in high school.. but we also don't need to ACT like we're in high school.
If everyone in the single world could just GROW UP.. even just a little bit.. and realize that we are exactly who we are and someone is going to love us.. for how we are.. not how we pretend to be.. NOT how we tell others we are.
Good for you for winning the lottery.. good for you for changing into someone that you want to be physically.. or mentally.. or spiritually.. or emotionally.
But beauty is far more than skin deep. it's simply a pre-req. get through the door and explore the real beauty about someone... their soul.
We are who we are.. for better.. or worse.
