Been A While

This site has served me as a place to rant or talk or complain or exclaim with excitement about whatever is on my mind. I’ve thought about writing something every now and then, but I stop myself because I guess I feel bad for using it as such. Does this matter? Does me just saying all of these things matter? Probably not. Very few people have read and/or liked my posts on here. 

Even for them, while my thoughts may be something they can relate to, it probably doesn’t matter too much. So I guess I have been waiting for something of substance to come along, some great adventure that I can tell you all about. Although my patiently waiting for something to roll around hasn’t done much good because here I am, writing to you all; not about some big adventure, but with the only thing I’ve got – my thoughts.

I can feel myself growing up, getting wiser, thinking clearer, becoming more patient, more open-minded, more understanding. It’s strange, but it’s so exciting.

Life is happening, and I guess I’m realizing it now more than I ever have. I have always been so preoccupied with the far future or what has happened in my past, but I’m finally becoming more present – and it’s something that is happening naturally, 

I’m not actively telling myself, “Hey, stick to the present. Be in the now.” Life. Is. Happening. As cliché as it sounds, life is the big adventure. Sure, you can climb Mt. Everest or get married or build a skyscraper – and all of those are adventures as well, but they’re just the parts that make up your life. They’re like “sub-adventures” of the one big adventure. 

And I’m sure many of you have already come to this realization, but I’m just getting started with this new perception. 

I have felt like I was dying for so long; I felt stuck and restricted in terms of opportunities. Something’s happened though, and it’s almost as if a light switch flicked on.

I have the power to do anything I want to do, anything at all. I can drop out of school, get a full-time job somewhere, and move out.

And as much as I talk about that as a possibility, it’s not what I want. If it was what I wanted, I would’ve already done it. But school feels right, for right now.

I’m excited to graduate (eventually) and I’m excited for the opportunities that this degree will give me. I know it’ll still be difficult, this degree isn’t a fast-pass to a job. But at least it’ll give me something.

This is all I can really plan for and hope for, for now. I have other ideas and dreams, but who knows what will change the plan I have.

I’m excited for the rest of my college semesters, only 4 more to go! And during that time, I’ll take everything day by day and I’ll focus on what makes me happy and what I can do for my well-being that will make my life an adventure worth living