One day you’re happy, the next day you feel so miserable.
Sometimes, out of a blue, I would ask myself – why I have been born? Am i born to live life or to live up the struggles that life has given? Maybe I’m just too tired that I am writing this kind of post. I don’t know, maybe because I’m too bad in expressing myself orally and this is the only way that I know to let everything out of my mind.
Life is really not easy right now. I’m struggling in my studies; to maintain my grades and to live up on everyone’s expectations. I am feeling so discouraged and lazy, that all I wanna do is to lie on my bed all day long. I don’t know what’s happening to me but I wanna wake up; open my eyes and do my home works.
I don’t know what I am living right now, if it’s life or struggles. There’s a lot of things that I am thinking right now – the what ifs and whys. Trust issues. Now, I don’t know to whom I should listen and believe to. It’s very hard for me to speak up what I am feeling to them and now, it’s even harder when I am in between of two walls. It is suffocating and it’s killing me, inside.
Life right now maybe hard at times but, I am still grateful for the happy days. I don’t know what will happen next so, I’ll just continue this journey and wander to find my purpose as a person living her life.
Lately, I've been haunted with LIES.
Trust is a property that every single human being is born with, over time life takes bits and pieces of your trust away. This once extravagant and excess amount of trust you placed upon the wold and in people crumbles away. Trust is something that can never fully regenerate. Like a rip in paper you can attempt to tape or patch it up but it will forever be ripped and imperfect from its original form.
Trust is the same, it will forever have scars and cuts and rips marking every event that broke your trust. So next time you are going to lie to someone just remember, you are scaring them forever no matter how small the cut.
Lies are pretty.
Like a rose bush in a field of weeds.
You’re dragged in and want to dive into the beauty, it’s only after you get close enough to touch them that you see the thorns. They cut into you and make you bleed, they show you a harsh reality.
The truth hurts, but the truth gives you a warning, it tells you about the thorns before you touch them.
Trust breaks, just like your skin on the thorns. It rips, and you don’t want to touch the thorns again so you are cautious of every flower you see.
Lies tear trust, it scars it and mangles it.
Scars don’t heal…
I just wished you trusted me more so you shouldn't have feed me with lies.
"It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before, but I recognize it instantly. It envelopes me. A gaze that caresses my soul. Fingertips that graze my arm and light every dark corner inside. There are never any words. Still, we always know. I fight it with everything I have, because I know it will be my downfall. But the more I pull away, the more it consumes me. He holds my heart in one hand and reaches for me with the other. I cling to him as I take my steps. Eyes wide open, but I can’t see a thing."
